A new chapter

Our household has turned the page onto a new chapter.  It is a very bittersweet change, and I will have to say that the emphasis is more on the bitter.  We now have completely cut ties with the city of Eagan but it came with a price, our boys are no longer going to Suzie’s for daycare.  Since we sold our house and moved in July, we had continued to drive back to Eagan for daycare.  I had come up with so many excuses to stay with Suzie.

First excuse: We couldn’t find anyone that we liked.  Majority of parents can agree with me on this, it is so hard looking for daycares.  It really is a chore and an emotional roller coaster.  Honestly, no one can watch and love my kids as much as me, and once I put that aside it comes down to a mother intuition and gut feelings to find a next to “perfect” substitute.  After calling almost every provider in the city, we had met with a handful of in home providers and a couple of centers and we just did not get that comforting feeling. Oh and with these visits we have come away with some interesting stories but one visit sticks out the most.  She came to us as a referral, granted, the person who referred us to her wasn’t very normal herself, but we needed some place to start.  We pulled up very “ornate” aka tacky landscape complete with Roman pillars and half naked statues (try explaining that to a 2 y/o!).  Then she leads us into her very empty basement and gives us a tour of the area where the kids will be which had a room with large doors with a dead bolt on it – according to her the kitchen was behind those doors and very dirty…<creepy> Peter and I knew within the first 5 minutes (and that is being generous) that this was not going to work.  Oh, and she repeatedly told us how beautiful M is, while we know this, she completely ignored E. 

Second excuse: Let’s keep the boys at Suzie’s for the first week in our new house so they can keep a something that is familiar during all of the changes.  Let’s keep the boys at Suzie’s so they can enjoy the summer party.  Let’s keep the boys at Suzie’s so they can celebrate their birthdays with their friends.  Let’s keep the boys at Suzie’s so they can have a Halloween party with their friends.  Let’s keep the boys at Suzie’s because we need some structure and consistency to help potty train E. (Ha - the attempt for potty training lasted an entire day…) I just kept coming up with excuses because I did not want to continue looking for someone else which leads into my next excuse.

Third excuse – and the biggest excuse!  Suzie is AMAZING! Honestly, it was going to be so hard to find someone to top her.  Suzie was such a blessing in our lives and God truly led us to her.  When E first started daycare we settled with a provider and we did not know what we were missing out on until we found Suzie.  She give us a 2 week notice after we told her we put our house on the market (only none of us knew that it wouldn’t sell for another year) and we were thrown into the emotional roller coaster with such a short time frame to find someone to watch our sweet boy.  Then we found Elaine, Elaine was great – another blessing, but after 2 months, she decided to retire.  We were given a month to find someone and at this point we needed to find someone that had openings for 2 kids. That is where Suzie comes into the picture.  We instantly knew that we liked her – even though she only had 1 opening we could not pass her up.

Suzie is that “perfect” substitute and a saint because she got to deal with E during one of the toughest ages.  Not only is she patient, but she also does not take any flack and knew how to effectively disciple.  What was supposed to be a temporary solution that did not have any infant openings turned out to be over a year with an infant opening.  During this time, E’s vocabulary and imagination grew leaps and bounds.  Also, thanks to Suzie’s persistence we started to get pictures from art project that were more than just 1 color of scribbles.  I can go on and on about all of the things that Suzie did, but I think that the reason that made her so great is the fact that Suzie (along with her husband, Uncle Leo) truly loved my kids as her own.  That is something the brings any parent comfort and why I gave into all of the other “excuses.”  Suzie has become a part of our family. 

With all of that, I guess as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.  Today was the boys first day at their new school but trust me, I keep coming up with more excuses as to why we need to go to Eagan just so we can visit Suzie, and I am sure that will happen soon!  This is also a reminder for anyone who is reading this with kids, do not forget to thank your day care providers! :)

Fall Fun - October!

Like I had mentioned in my first post, this blog is to be more of journal of events and moments that I experience.  My intentions are not to bore those who happen to read this, because personally, 15 years down the road, I do not care about what I had for dinner or what little sleep I got the night before, (because lets face it, I have 2 kids – so sleep can sometimes be rare) I care about those moments where my heart is happy. 

 

 I had be toying with the idea to start a blog for some while now, but it has been this last month that really solidified my need to get things down on “paper.” There is something about the month of October that just makes my heart happy and what makes my heart happy had definitely changed over the years. October use to be about the changing colors, all things pumpkin spice, and football, and now it has so much more meaning. (Although those are still good things) October is now about the celebration of relationships and life.  Peter and I celebrated our 7^th anniversary from when we started dating which is very important.  If that didn’t happen, we would be able to celebrate life – the life of E and M.  7 years ago celebrating was completely different to what it is today.  Celebrations today are so much more stressful!  But stressful in a good way, and often times self-imposed from the high expectations I set on myself.  Today celebrations are about E & M! Wow, it’s hard to believe that M is no longer a baby and the E is out of his terrible two’s and has moved on to the troublesome 3’s.

 

 So with that being said, October has been so much fun with my munchkins! I have been able to incorporate all things pumpkin with a shared birthday party for the boys and visits to the Luce Line Apple Orchard and Sever’s Corn Maze.  I may be slightly brainwashing the boys into liking fall as much as I do, even my love for the Vikings, as E often requests the “Go Vikings” song and will sing along with me.

 

October started with the boys birthday party which I am sure you couldn’t guess that the it was pumpkin themed! This party was where I got to put my Pinterest fails on full display. Note to self – pumpkin cake does not make good cake pops; they eventually turned into cake balls.  Thank goodness the boys are so young and I have such wonderful friends and family that they didn’t even notice the disaster. I also had this elaborate dessert table display in my head which never came to fruition either. Oh well…This posed as a good lesson for future birthdays because just this last weekend E and I were at a store and one of the associates asked how old he was and he responded with “I am three and I had a party at Nana and Papa’s with cupcakes!” He obviously was not heartbroken by Mama’s cake pop disaster.  Thanks sweet boy!  He also demonstrated that he is a bright little boy.  I had made up his plate of food for dinner and threw some veggies on there with the stipulation that he couldn't have any candy until he finished them.  I was verify impressed when I went to clear his plate and they were all gone, only to find out that he was putting them on Aunt Patti's plate - what a Sneaky Snook (anyone catch that Jake reference? I really need to get out more...) M seemed to enjoy the party as well.  He got to have an entire pumpkin cake to himself – once he got over the texture of the frosting on his fingers he did have a lot of fun.

 

 (Pinterest Inspiration)

 

 (Pinterest Fail)

 

The boys and I (as well as my mom) have had very fun weekends to keep us busy.  All of this fun and exploring has really opened up E’s creativity.  To the point where he sometimes tries to eat food like an ostrich (thank you Sever’s petting zoo!).  We have also done hayrides, corn mazes, and corn pits.  Oh and lets not forget that October is fire safety month so there have been a lot of fire trucks to make a 3 y/o happy!   

 

 

Another change that I have notice this month is that E now all of a sudden likes the radio and wants to know what songs are called. His favorite song is “Ba Da Base” aka “All about that Base.”  Every time we are in the car he asks me to find it, and when it’s not on he takes out his music player – his hand, and sings it.  His imagination his so cute, he pretends that his hand is an iphone (cute, but I just cringe on how much technology is ingrained in kids these days…) and he asks if we want to look pictures and tells me where to push play for a video.  He has the pictures and videos on our phones memorized and he will randomly recite them. 

 

M's personality is also really beginning to show.  This sweet laid back boy loves to read.  He will sit with a board book and just flip though the pages and babble.  I have also given up putting the books back on the bookshelf because every time I turn around he is taking them all back down.  M also loves to give Mama, Daddy, and most stuffed animals kisses - wet open mouth kisses (he must have learned that from Coda!) and sing in the car! (I am pretty sure that yesterday he was singing Let it Go from Frozen) What a smart 1 y/o!

 

Although October is my favorite month and always so full of fun; it is also so bitter-sweet.  It means that my babies are growing up.  I just want to freeze them so I can just hold them, rock them, read them bedtime stories, and bottle their imaginations. But since I cannot, I will just continue to make memories with them!

 

I have included some pictures the truly capture the innocents and bliss that my boys have experienced this month.  I just love their genuine smiles on their faces while scooting through the leaves.

 

Shout out to my friend Jenna for her awesome cake skills with M's pumpkin smash cake!

 

 

And so it begins...

Often times I find myself trying to take a mental picture of a time, place, or moment while I am with my boys because I want to remember it for a lifetime, or more so I can embarrass them 15 years down the road.  I will have to admit, I had set out to be super mom but reality soon set in, I just do not have the time.  That sounds bad, it sounds like my kids are not worth my time, fortunately that it far from the truth.  My kids are my life, my family is my life, when I am not at work I am with my family, and therefore my priorities had to shift.  When E was born, I had a baby book but I think that I might have completed 5 pages of that, and well M, he never even got a baby book.  And that brings me to this, the blog without a name, (because I am not creative enough to come up with one) I want a way to document those moments in my life, kind of like a journal.  I am not writing this blog for others, I am writing it for me, and so I can look back at those moments in my life, my family’s life, and smile, cry, or laugh.  If others would like to read it, I am perfectly fine with that as well, as I know that we have family and friends all around the world who might want to know the happenings of the Eshenaur family.  However, if you are looking for a well put together blog with perfect spelling, grammar, witty humor, or deep thoughts, you are not in the right place. J

 

I do not read many blogs, but I know that most have a section called “About Me.” Well who am I?  Like I have said before I am not super mom, and I am definitely not “that mom.” I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be “that mom,” that mom whose hair always looks perfect, that mom who can pull off all of those creative Pinterest ideas, or that mom who only servers her family whole, organic, non-GMO food. I am the mom who sometimes forgets when she last took a shower, gives her kids hot dogs and fruit snacks, has many Pinterest fails, and has a dirty house.  I am the mom who cannot give her kids everything but at the same time gives them the world because they are my world.  As you can tell, I am far from perfect, I may judge you and compare myself to you, have doubts about myself, I try to tell myself that I do not care what other people think of me – but I do, and I am always second guessing myself.  However, through all of this doubt, I know the true reason that I am here on this earth, and that is to serve God and my family, and love them both with all of my heart.  To myself, I am perfectly imperfect, I am me.  I wear many hats, I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a bug smasher, a cook, a maid, a full-time underwriter, a chauffeur, and I hope through this blog I can become a story-teller so my family can look back, laugh, and cry (hopefully only happy tears!).